To Bailey

So I the last thing I knew of that you wrote until today was the "life is sweet like cinnamon" one

apparently blogger decided to make me unfollow you unknowingly

until today I was going to reread some of your posts

and then I had realized what had happened

so yeah

Also I'm going to be 100% honest and revealing my "bones" so please be understanding and if you are not Bailey, feel free to read but half of this won't make sense to you.

Anyway

I'll update you on a little bit

A lotta bit I mean

First things first, ever since the whole birthday incident

I thought that you just wanted to be done with me

Like I felt like you were ignoring me and maybe you were

but to sum it up, I had believed, and it took some time but I had convinced myself I was just beating a dead horse so to speak

Also I really just want to get this cleared up

throughout the summer we would text and post blog posts and stuff

but we never really saw each other face to face

and there's nothing really too wrong with that

but it was basically like living in a long distance relationship when you were just down the street a little ways

and I was thinking we had so much in common and all that

and I really just wanted to have a good friend to talk to during school and stuff

I was thinking of times we could get together and stuff

and I really could only think of 2 since I was gone half the time during the summer and they were

1. Your Birthday

2. My Birthday party (I never even had one, I didn't know what I wanted to do :P)

and I'm just getting so sidetracked kind of but real quick context

last year for your birthday when you refused to let me give you a present I thought it was the old "aww really you don't have to" and I just wanted to be "the awesome guy who gives you presents on your birthday without you having a party" and so I did it anyway and left and everything. But this year I wanted to do it to sincerely thank you for "introducing me to be me" I imagined I would knock and hand you a Justin's Organic Peanut Butter Cup and a handwritten letter and then we would just say hi and stuff and then sit down on your front porch steps just talking about everything that's been going on and then our relationship would be stronger and we would basically just talk during school and stuff and just be really good friends.

But after I screwed that all up, I had felt like you wanted nothing to do with me and so when school started and I would randomly see you in the hallway I just felt bad. I don't know what specifically but it was something close to intimidated. I felt like I wanted to talk to you but you didn't want to even come near me.

One thing that I'm still not sure about is if some things you wrote are about me...like "tfum" because I think that was maybe a response to me, but I never even got it thanks to blogger. Also since when do you take American Studies...???? We should start a study group for the friday tests with William Bradshaw, you, me and anyone else and then after wards just listen to beirut and hangout or something the hip kids do these days. And that class is easily my favorite, Mr Birrell is hilarious and we talk about interesting things like the Scarlet Letter (which I'm still probably going to write about on here) and it's great. Oh yeah and we read the Great Gatsby later in the year which I still no nothing about but I know you love it so that's kewl.

I would like to talk to you about more of this at school! Have a good Sunday. That is if you really hold up on your word about checking up on this every single day...because it means a lot to me that you read this at all. I thought you stopped reading it altogether. Even if you don't it's totally fine.)

-Ashton