The most truthful quote I've ever heard
"Give somebody a mask and they'll show their true face"
- Oscar Wilde
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Significance
An actual conversation:
Me: Hey Trever. I want an honest answer, something more than a yes or a no: Do you think living just to exist is a reason to live?
Trever: I would love to answer, but answer me this. Why are you asking? What's bringing this question?
Me: I was reading "Night" a book about a nazi camp. And there the author who was a boy at the time, was only able to make it out alive because he and his father wanted to escape. The one's who died had no motivation to keep enduring. I just reflected it and was just thinking about my life and why I'm still alive. Why do I keep living? What is it about being alive that makes being alive worth it, because right now I'm struggling to live meaningfully.
Trever: That's a difficult question because you have to play into your religious beliefs before anything, for me, not really having any, my life is what I make it, as stupid as that sounds, it's true, and I know when I let myself down and do perform or live as significantly as I could, but I also just know that's a flaw I have, and I do succeed in living significantly here and there and it makes it worth it. But...
There is no point if you have to believe in anything. Once you accept this body that's holding you is all we have, your goal is to push its limits. Feeling is the only real thing we as humans can use to guage our success, fulfillment, significance. Example, the feeling of being scared by something is worth living for, in my opinion, you probably have been on a camp out and encountered a dangerous situation... Wasn't it fun in some cynical way? I always found it to be.
My point is things that used to give significance can fade. I don't play music very much anymore, which I dislike about myself, but it's just fading from me, but my will to love the people I'm around grows stronger. And I waste a lot of time playing video games but the few times I choose to read a short story, rewarded with a feeling, the glimpses of feelings that are given to me through different experiences, as inconsistent as they come and go, they remind me why I exist. For this moment. That is fleeting in front of me, and then it's gone and I have to spend my efforts searching for it again. It's almost like the pay off isn't a pay off... It's more of a working yourself in situations and places getting to a point where you are rewarded, as tangible as the reward is (an emotional response) you realize what you did to get there is what was worth something.
Me: Hey Trever. I want an honest answer, something more than a yes or a no: Do you think living just to exist is a reason to live?
Trever: I would love to answer, but answer me this. Why are you asking? What's bringing this question?
Me: I was reading "Night" a book about a nazi camp. And there the author who was a boy at the time, was only able to make it out alive because he and his father wanted to escape. The one's who died had no motivation to keep enduring. I just reflected it and was just thinking about my life and why I'm still alive. Why do I keep living? What is it about being alive that makes being alive worth it, because right now I'm struggling to live meaningfully.
Trever: That's a difficult question because you have to play into your religious beliefs before anything, for me, not really having any, my life is what I make it, as stupid as that sounds, it's true, and I know when I let myself down and do perform or live as significantly as I could, but I also just know that's a flaw I have, and I do succeed in living significantly here and there and it makes it worth it. But...
There is no point if you have to believe in anything. Once you accept this body that's holding you is all we have, your goal is to push its limits. Feeling is the only real thing we as humans can use to guage our success, fulfillment, significance. Example, the feeling of being scared by something is worth living for, in my opinion, you probably have been on a camp out and encountered a dangerous situation... Wasn't it fun in some cynical way? I always found it to be.
My point is things that used to give significance can fade. I don't play music very much anymore, which I dislike about myself, but it's just fading from me, but my will to love the people I'm around grows stronger. And I waste a lot of time playing video games but the few times I choose to read a short story, rewarded with a feeling, the glimpses of feelings that are given to me through different experiences, as inconsistent as they come and go, they remind me why I exist. For this moment. That is fleeting in front of me, and then it's gone and I have to spend my efforts searching for it again. It's almost like the pay off isn't a pay off... It's more of a working yourself in situations and places getting to a point where you are rewarded, as tangible as the reward is (an emotional response) you realize what you did to get there is what was worth something.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Childhood Attic (contains memories of things that haven't happened yet)
Mind-numbingly beautiful
The yellow house of grizzly bear
Sorry I don't have much to say, but I do want to share music with you still. As always.
The yellow house of grizzly bear
Sorry I don't have much to say, but I do want to share music with you still. As always.
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