Flow

Hey
This is for Bonesss
I don't think I've ever mentioned it
but I've always really really really loved your work
everything you say just rolls off the tongue and it just
sounds sweet and makes me think of people who do that for
a living. I mean whenever I start to write something, I will sometimes take
a look at your work just to give me some ideas, and basically you have the kind of humor
and writing style that I have always strived for. So thank you for doing that and keep it up :P

Also Em
You have a different style from Bonness
and I love it just as much
really it's probably just the analogy's and the phrases that I think
"well even though it doesn't make sense to me right now, it sounds as cool as heck"
like for example your blog title
first time I saw that I was just blown away
but yeah
I could write a lot more about you guysszz but I'm still pretty tired/frustrated after working to get my music up on this bloggg.

Once again though. Thanks for bringing some temporary happiness in my life and please continue to write

-Ashton

LDC

Finally got my large diaphragm condenser and can record with a lot higher quality
been mostly experimenting with it and haven't produced anything official or completed with it yet
but if you are wanting to keep up with what I've been recording lately here you go:

Also by the way none of it is on SoundCloud because you only have 2 hours of material to put on there and so I want to put the best of the best on there only.

Since I'm such a noob at iMovie I could barely figure out how to make the music into a simple movie, like I had no interest in the visuals at all and so it gave me what you are about to see. The reason I did this is cause you can upload videos to blogger, but not straight up audio for some reason....

Oh yeah and also I know some parts in the first one don't sound quite right, but the lead was 100% improv, so give me a breather if ya would.

EDIT: ALRIGHT THIS IS VERY FRUSTRATING WHEN I MADE THEM INTO MOVIES IT TOOK AWAY ALL THE AUDIO QUALITY THAT MADE IT SOUND SO GOOD DANGIT I SPENT ABOUT AN HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT OH MAN. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

Alrighty then

So today I found out some interesting news:
1. I no longer have a job
2. My boss was doing a $4M Ponzi Scheme
3. HE OWES ME $104 FOR MY WORK AND I PROBABLY WONT GET IT D':

But yeah anyways if you would like to read about him here

That little Bastard who took my earnings and ran

He was also my families insurance agent
and so this took me by surprise.
Lots o unwanted surprise
yup

Phaith

Been thinking about a lot of what I believe in lately
Maybe take the time to make a distinguished line between faith and fear
I know that I constantly replace one with the other frequently
Compare
How much of a difference is there....

Fear of death                         Faith in everlasting life
Fear of hell                             Faith in heaven
Fear of shame                        Faith in doing "the right thing"
Fear of shun                           Faith that God loves everybody
Fear of being alone                 Faith that families are forever

Fear that you won't see loved ones again

That one applies to me
It's something I've feared my whole life
Maybe it's time I move on
Maybe it's time I confront my fear, and get rid of it

Sometimes the things I rely on
end up being a joke
something made up
and it all leads to disappointment and the thought that
"why did I even bother to hope for it..."

I truly am sorry for any offense taken by this
but these kinds of things
are important to me
and I'm going to put them in the one place I can share them freely
on1y

Mass graves for the pump and the price is set

I don't know what started my random obsession with Rage Against the Machine, I don't believe in all of their ideas such as socialism/communism, but man do they have some good songs, and some good meaning. I just try to dissect each song with the lyrics and figure out what they are talking about, luckily "Testify" is pretty straightforward. The combination of Zach's conviction, Tom Morello's guitar playing / DJing, and the overall feel of the song is something pretty irresistible to me. Sure I'm not some guy to start protesting, but I really do love what they are doing, and it sounds very hypocritical but in my head it's really not.

If you are interested at all, I have some links for you. If not don't worry about it, but one thing I thought was interesting was I had the thought a while back that really we don't know what's happening on the other side of the world, our news programs could just be a bunch of propaganda used to spark our hatred. Not to mention without it, none of us would ever begin to know or care about the specific events, since we have no way of knowing it. Normally I just open up the song on grooveshark/youtube and then the lyrics page and read along, but this one has a good music video for it as well, so I recommend opening the lyrics page up first and reading through them, and then watching the video and listening to the song.

And in case you are wondering, there is nothing explicit in the song

Lyrics

Music Video / Song

And if you want a little more insight on some of the harder to understand lyrics, try googling it or just
 Click Here

Answered?

I never EVER thought that I would find something useful with heavy metal, and I don't even know what got me listening to it for the past 30 minutes, it was some kind of weird experiment with a long chain of youtube videos from things like Rage Against the Machine and I ended up in Slipknot.

Anyways I remember seeing a TV show commercial about an interview with the lead singer of the band, and his crazy genious lyrics, so I figured I would look up some explanation of the song since I can't really understand what he's saying since he's basically yelling it into the microphone.

Anyways the one song I decently know by them is "Before I Forget" because it was on Guitar Hero III so I listened to it and then looked it up.

Turns out the lyrics are very interesting and from somebody's explanation, something kind of hit me hard. Here it is:

People need to stop thinking that Corey's only writing very personal songs about himself, and concentrate on the way they've written the lyrics which (even though it reflects events in his own life), anyone can relate to:

This seems to be what people are confused about:

"I am a world before I am a man

I was a creature before I could stand

I will remember before I forget

Before I forget that!"

Most people have interpreted it as being about evolution xD... LOL SlipKnoT's songs are almost always very 'personal' or based on feelings alone. It CAN be interpreted that way, but it has too many loose ends. I should mention first that evolution is -very- similar, metaphorically, to a human being growing up. In my opinion, anyone who has just reached 'adulthood' from adolescence (your teenage years), can come to realize what that meant, and it's really something:

"I was a creature before I could stand" = Easily interpreted: When you were a baby, you were self-centered, self-indulgent, and didn't necessarily 'think', you just did what you felt like, no matter what it was. 'Creature' is a metaphor for this. I've mentioned this first because it's just plain obvious.

"I am a world before I am a man" = This one's my favorite from this song, and to be honest, it's one of my favorite quotes, ever. I know I sound far-fetched here, but seriously this one line perfectly describes through metaphor: you growing up into an adult, and what that really means. When you're an adolescent (teenager), you have a psychological trait called 'tunnel vision', which isn't actually a tunnel-limited vision, but a way you perceive the entire world around you. All adolescents have this, and it makes you feel as if 'life would last forever', and you don't understand that life is in fact 'short' until you lose this trait when you become an adult. In this case, "world" is a metaphor for how you see yourself as an adolescent: you feel as if you WILL be exactly what you want to be in life (this one varies, and at least a few do), and you're constantly 'image-conscious' and 'self-conscious', wanting to 'have a certain identity', and wanting to be recognized as "someone" rather than "no one". Most of all though, you have your very own, opinionated perception of the "world" around you. (I'm aware I'm describing a rebellious teen, but seriously, this is a Slipknot song). In other words, you're a 'world' as a teenager, but anyone who has actually 'grown up' definitely knows that to be a "Man" in the modern world, you eventually need to 'let go' of those thoughts and accept the system: now you're no longer a "world", you're PART of it :].

To be honest, this song's helped me understand what it takes to -actually- grow up, and everyone's gotta check this out, if you still doubt the meaning I've given:

It's got a VERY similar name, and pretty much -exactly- the same meaning xD...

So what hit me hard was the whole thing about tunnel vision. I don't know how he was able to explain me so well. This whole blog has been dedicated to the fact about how I feel about myself and my emotions, and worrying about my relations and me me me ME. That might be what is holding me back in life, trying to find happiness in what others do for me, but really maybe what I have been looking for is finding happiness in my relationships to others, and just other people in general. I was actually thinking recently before I read that explanation about how sometimes I feel really "deep" and wanting to share somethings, but at other times I've been thinking to myself how dumb the whole thing is.

So yeah. Thank you Slipknot. That's a big step for me. I think this is definitely something to hold onto and to apply in my life. MY life haha, how ironic. Except maybe it's not going to be anymore after the application. It's not something that's going to happen all at once obviously, but it's a paradigm shift.

There is a lot more I want to say that can wait another time, for it is almost 11:00 and I'm trying to get onto a regular sleep schedule because of school, which I'm excited for by the way.


EDIT: I had some extra tabs open and now that I remember, it started with me listening to the album "Sarah" by the Opinion Heads (or mostly just Trever I think), and then I got to the weird myth that if you play the Pink Floyd album and Wizard of oz at the same time, they go together really really well and that it may or may not be a coincidence and then it all got carried away from there. So yeah.

That there, that's not me

Yet again I find myself expressing emotions through sound and lyric, but holding back because of fear
fear of disappointment
fear of imagining the bottle would come back
come bring me happiness, or whatever it was I felt
Maybe go back and read "Float"
It was a prediction between me and you
one I hoped that wouldn't have to happen so soon
obviously it was going to happen but maybe not all at once
unfortunately I was right
but fortunately that story didn't end, it was just another chapter of a book full of chapters
and I'm hoping that I can turn the page and be ready for what's coming for me
because frankly I have no idea what it is.

Here is something I wrote today in my phone, whilst listening to "How to disappear completely (and never be found again)" by Radiohead. I encourage you to listen to it after reading it, and read the lyrics (in the description).

I don't know what our relationship means anymore, to me or you
I'm still trying to figure out what you are to me
because I can't tell you how many times I've punched myself mentally because of what I said
and the worst part is I don't know how you feel about it, except I know it's not positive
and I understand that
but I want to make sure that I can move on or not whether you want to open the next chapter or not
I will keep reading as long as there is still text on the page, because right now I am intrigued by this story and it is helping me in my life
It's something I can hold on to

If you are wondering why I am putting this on my blog, is because I want this to be here when I look through my blog, I don't want this to be forgotten into the lost abyss where deleted text messages go.